My family's medical history would make a great horror movie

Friday, December 31, 2010

My little sister had meningitis at age 3 and spent 40 days in a coma. That explains a lot, or so the family story goes.

At that same age, but years and years earlier, I had had polio and although you can’t really tell by looking at me, I have every spine curvature known to man. Then, in my early 20s, I had not 1, not 2, not 3, but 6 spontaneous pneumothoraxes, a couple of them perfectly timed with the holiday season, so I could spend Christmas in the hospital (with my mother staying in an adjacent room, for her own reasons, keep reading).

On the subject of my mother … well, she has had health issues all her life, mostly with both her legs, courtesy of a doctor who, back in the days, was very well renowned and a complete crook. After spending as much as a year in a body cast on several occasions, undergoing tons of operations and in constant pain, my mother developed a life-threatening infection and had to have her left leg amputated. Just to give you a graphic idea, when we were flying from Brasilia to Montevideo for her amputation I had to hold her leg on take off cause it was coming off … not joking. No bone left to hold it together. And I’ll spare you the details of the bit by bit amputation, going higher and higher on her leg. I'll also spare you the details of me cleaning the hole on her leg from where you could see the bone. I am lucky, or maybe just trained by circumstances, but I can take a good amount of gore without flinching. I actually find it interesting.On top of the reality of my mother's health problems, with time she has also assumed a professional sick individual persona. Sickness is what she does, who she is. And I will never get used to that.

As for my father, who was mostly healthy all his life, except for your run-of-the-mill ulcer (though he got to spend so much time in hospitals with my mother that he got discounted meals at the doctor’s cafeteria and was called “Doctor” by the staff), as he got older he seemed extremely dedicated to finding a way out  (I am absolutely convinced there was a part of him that had just lived enough and dreaded the future that was coming at him): in two years he went from perfect health to heart problems, then he tried lung cancer and not happy with that he got pancreatic cancer. Mercifully, he died from a heart attack way before that sucker could get nasty.

On my in-laws side: my ex-husband had a heart attack and got quintuple bypass coronary surgery at age 35, 5 years after we married. One bypass per year of marriage, or so he put it. Since then he has got stents and another bypass surgery he barely made it out of. Oh, and the anesthesia did not work that time, so if you want a blow by blow of a thoracic surgery from the patient's perspective, he’s the guy to talk to.

My mother in law was okay until she developed a bad case of Chron’s disease. To top it off she is at this very moment in the hospital, recovering from a triple bypass and a new valve. To make the most out of the occasion she had a stroke while under. She's right handed so, obviously, is her right side that's paralyzed.

My sister in law spent most of her life with kidney infections that made it necessary for her to receive a kidney transplant. She also has heart problems. Now she has developed a tumor on her one and only transplanted kidney and needs surgery. That’s why I am at JFK now, waiting to my flight to Madrid

Oh, and one of my nieces has quite an extreme celiac disease … and it goes on and on … we do have other health issues besides those mentioned and I am not expanding this medical history to friends and extended family.

Well, this post started in my mind as an explanation of why I am going to Madrid again, but then I thought it would be more fun to unload the whole picture.

Also, I was going to end it with a “I am fine, thanks!”  but then my back spasmed and I fainted and I busted my face, you know, yada yada yada … happy New Year!

 

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Impermanence is the name of the game

Thursday, December 30, 2010

what color will I be tomorrow?

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Xmas getup

Sunday, December 26, 2010

I cropped, I removed wrinkles, I brightened teeth, I airbrushed turkey necks, I corrected colors, I did it all and what I got was straight out creepy. So here are the originals, in all their lack of glory.

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My makeshift fascinator

I really really wanted a fascinator and I wanted it NOW. So I cut off part of a Styrofoam ball, slipped it into a black trouser sock, cut the sock to size, glued it to the ball, cut a round piece of the leftover sock and glued on top of the glued sock just to give it a less messy finish, glued a hair clip and inserted a couple of peach colored feathers. Voilá. Yes, I actually went out with that thing on my head. That and my Uniform Project dress on top of a black skirt and a grey patterned blouse and mary janes with heels so high I had to take them off 10 minutes into dinner.  But it's NY and nobody cares what you wear and I love it (for the record, my UP dress was accesorized yesterday with striped red socks, a red cinched belt, a red circle scarf and a Santa hat).

 

 

 

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The holidays, my way

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

This year nothing is the way is supposed to be, so on Christmas Eve I decided to follow the long established Jewish tradition and have an early Chinese dinner with friends (non-Jewish and non-Chinese, like myself), followed by a movie.

On Christmas Day I´ll have lunch with another set of friends with a non-traditional menu of potato pie followed by another movie.

As for NYE, I will celebrate it on the 30th with a party at Julien's, and yet another set of friends. On the actual 31st I will be flying to Madrid and, hopefully, toasting on the plane.

I now need to come up with something incongruous for the Reyes Magos day, on January 6th.

In the meantime I keep busy eating, reflecting about how I should really be starting a meditation practice, shuffling from one laptop to the next thinking how I need to turn them all off, regain a resemblance of an attention span and read the gazillion books and articles that I want to read, taking truly long and non ecofriendly baths, playing with polymer clay, pondering all the things I could be doing if I wasn't doing whatever I happen to be doing, etc.  I also make plans for things I will never do and I shake my tremulous derrière in zumba classes. It´s a good life so far.  

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Playing with clay

Friday, December 3, 2010

Playing with clay

Playing with clay

Playing with clay

Me? Judgmental? Nah!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Today I was walking behind a woman, tearing her to pieces in my head. Thought she had to be French, who else would wear tight corduroy dark green jeans and a short jacket over a less than stellar ass? Her wispy hair was a giveaway too. No make-up and a tight, abrasive walk. Then I stopped and realized I was the middle aged broad with the fried orange/yellow mess that passes as hair and one of those outfits my ex used to call my Viet Namese costumes. Time to shut up.  But yes, she was French. 

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