Pain and humiliation: a spa experience

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

It was raining cats and dogs so after a purifying lunch at Quintessence (which, by the way, despite its hippyish look and strange smell, is a great place to eat) we decided to go and relax with a massage. Juvenex was not our first choice. Lilly and Raoul was, but unfortunately it was fully booked.

There is certainly a wow factor in walking into a rundown building in Manhattan, getting into an old elevator and stepping into a large, well-used spa, but lets get it straight: it looks nothing like its pictures. It’s more like an oversize bathroom with hot tubs and mysterious rooms everywhere.

The one girl at the reception desk was probably Russian or Middle European, everybody else was Asian, probably Korean. One of them handed us two bathrobes. The first one was clearly not meant for me as I could have easily used it as a glove. The second one was larger but still not large enough. It barely covered the unmentionables (the ones on the front, while hugging the one on the back like a second skin).  I started getting a little anxious.  I had to wear the robe and parade around clutching a dangling towel to cover mes miseres. For a moment I thought they had done it on purpose. There were bigger ladies there and they all (well, both of them) seemed to have large enough robes. Not white robes, blue robes. Hello! I need a BLUE robe!

First of all, there is absolutely nothing relaxing about being bossed around and directed from one station to the next. First, the shower (one of those open-plan nightmares where you might shampoo in a dandily manner but certainly not scrub your vajayjay), then the sauna (a gazillion degrees in a tomb-like structure, I could not stop thinking of those poor deluded seekers who died in a sweat box in Arizona). The ladies even insisted on the jacuzzi where we were to jump in butt naked and join another couple of happy soakers. I only had one word for that: I-don’t-think-so.

Truth be told, I brought some of the humiliation upon myself. Stupidly, in clear act of self-hatred, I choose to go to the spa with my best-bodied girlfriend, so tiny and cute and tight you just feel vomiting  (you know who you are, you bitch!) .

On the elevator from the 6th to the 5th floor, while I was praying that nobody, absolutely nobody was on the other side of the door when it opened,  my masseuse was stroking my face and admiring my baby skin and blue eyes. It has happened to me before, and not just once, so my non-pc assumption is that all Koreans have a fetish with piggy-colored skin. They stare at me and get very agitated,  chanting “oh! pleety pleety” over and over. I have to be careful at nail salons, my beauty can be very distracting.

The massage itself was, well, brutal. I love massages, my idea of perfect happiness is going about my life with a personal masseur following me everywhere and rubbing  my back every time I happen to stop or sit down, and I love them hard. No light strokes for me. Those are for sissies. Still, I think there is a fine line between the pain/pleasure of a deep massage and the unbearable agony of iron thumbs methodically breaking down your body. At Juvenex the hole on the massage bed is there for you to hide your  facial contortions. You quickly learn to slide down the bed to bury your face and muffle your screams.

I am embarrassed to say I paid dearly for this torture, both in hard-earned dollars and  persisting soreness.

So let me put it in writing: Lilly and Raoul, Graceful Services, I’ll never ever betray you again.

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Boys, boys, boys

Monday, March 1, 2010

I have aways been a fag hag, a trait I share with my sister, although I did not find out about this until recently. My very first boyfriend (at 13?) was gay but clearly not out of the closet yet, not even to himself. I always had gay best friends and slowly, through the years, I got to the point where, when walking into a NYC Gay Pride party at the Ritz  with a group of gay friends, I was the one being given shout outs. I even introduced a kid on his first Gay Pride to my posse. Up until two or three years ago I was dancing around in every gay joint in NY, being warmly embraced by Chelsea boys and Christopher Street bears alike. I have been to tattoo contests at the LGBT Community Center and I am now a card carrying Human Rights Campaign member. 

I am not sure where the attraction is, but I know for a fact that my life would not be half as enjoyable without my boys. I have fun with them in ways I almost never do with straight guys. Most of them are way more interesting than most straight guys I know (with a few notable exceptions, obviously). More fun. More tender. I was trying to figure this out recently as I am aware if makes no sense to categorize a whole group of people in such a sweeping manner. It is as idiotic to say that gay guys are sweet than to say women cannot drive. I have obviously known petty, shallow, vicious men of the gay persuasion, but they have always been a very small percentage. And when I come to think of it, it boils down to how I feel in their company. It is so easy for me to just click with them. I appreciated the way they treat women, or at least me. I have never been to a gay club without at least 3 or 4 guys welcoming me. Looking after me in the bathroom, introducing their boyfriends to me. Being really kind and courteous. How can I not love it?

So it's no surprise I am so thrilled with the land I bought in Chihuahua and my plans of building a (small) house. It is a nudist beach, and part of it is gay. My neighbors are all gay and wickedly entertaining. They are also good people, which is very important to me. My nearest neighbours, Michael, was my teacher in Switzerland 20 years ago. He is a former dancer in London and  Texas, originally from England. I found out, via Facebook, that he is leaving there now with his partner. M.A. and I stayed with him for a few days this year and he has introduced me to my across the street neighbor, a musical director from Chile. I met another friend of his, born in Argentina, who lives most of the year in Florida. And I am sure I will meet so many more. I can't think of a better place to call home, except maybe the rest of the world.

Posted via web from rosario's posterous